Separation, sacrifice, and other light late-night musings.

Humans are seeds of bright immortality sown in dense mortal soil. We plod through insipid routine and, through that dark window, imagine incandescence. It’s such a perfect tragedy. If humankind is indeed the vehicle through which the Puruṣa dreams, then the Absolute Consciousness is a matchless storyteller.

As flesh-bound souls held to finite law, everything we do is accordingly limited by time and space, and every choice we make eliminates every other. All relationships we have are thusly bound, dependent most of all upon preference: We decide our companions based upon some perceived superiority they possess.

But at the spirit-level, bound to deathless Divinity alone, we are no different. Lord does not rank souls in a hierarchy of worth, and thus the divine Love is completely full. Pervasive. Without boundaries. It is the freedom of Indra, who moves heaven for the rains to fall, and earth for the rivers to flow, and whose vast heart overflows in the tears of a thousand eyes.

All uncontrolled wanting seems to grow ultimately from one source: the profound, inborn, tragic feeling of separation from the Beloved. Original need, rather than original sin. Some try to stop the echoing rattle of emptiness, reaching for things to build security, earthly loves to fill the hollow heart. Others attempt to ignore it, numbing the senses with restless activity and noise to keep back the great looming Silence of the Absolute. And beyond barricade or balm lies a third path: the practice of Yoga, through which the agony of loneliness falls away because one is joined to God alone.

By a beautiful paradox, the yogī takes on new fetters in order to become limitless. These bonds are the personal restraints known as the deaths (yamas). Surely an ancient rage and panic arises with the fear of abandonment – and how does this existence feel, but like an exile from the Divine? So the seeker learns first ahiṃsā, nonviolence. The sādhaka controls the anger and panic of the ancient separation, striking not against the world that seems a prison from Lord. Next comes the release of pride, and the understanding that all of the world’s esteem is impotent; truth or satya follows this naturally, as the very desire for falsehood is undone. Seeking within, the sādhaka then finds that what is known to the senses is not real, and through this wisdom is able to practice asteya, non-covetousness.

Still the world’s illusions and false comforts are not all broken. Here begins the fourth Yama, brahmacarya, the conduct that allies to the creator. It is not celibacy only, but the death of preference, and the misguided desire from which it is borne. To practice this is like stepping between raidnrops in a storm. Deceptively simple it seems, to cast everything away, to close off the senses and ruthlessly crush all temptation. To become cold. Barren. Or, more extremely, to cultivate revulsion in this ample mortal ground. To practice scorn.

Yet the Beloved is the onrushing storm, not inert ice. His light shimmers everywhere; his force permeates the world. He does not steal his beauty away from admiration and sit detached, unreachable. His is love in freedom. It seems that true brahmacarya is to embrace all, expansively and completely. To see His eyes gleaming in every human glance.

This Yama has been most difficult for me so far. To be controlled and not dead. To practice love gently, even as energy wanes and temper flares. And doubts arise: in turning from human bodies and personalities, and surrendering myself to His forms, His glories, have I really achieved anything in exchanging the multiple and temporal for the Timeless and Alone? Or is it one attachment transmuted into another? Śrī Ramakrishna’s final test was to decapitate his beloved Kālī, to sacrifice even Her into the fire of the Ultimate.

This is perhaps a reason why many see the end of avidyā in an understanding of all as Divine. This realisation would be the end of all attachments, would it not, because an attachment requires a subject and an object, and is eliminated when duality disintegrates.

Yet there is something to be said for the self-sacrifice of service, of never merging with one’s iṣṭa but remaining enough apart to sport together. Perhaps the Devas, too, remain apart to serve us, and the entire universe burns in love and sacrifice. A phenomenal tale indeed.

“Oh, I understand! You were being a bridge.
Well, that’s nice, bridges are important.
But you know, the only problem with being a bridge
is that you, yourself,
never get to cross over.”
–Nan DeGrove

I am too tired for error checks. I trust these thoughts to the forgiveness and gentle tutelage of my mistakes.

© Arjunī and ridiculously reverent. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Arjunī and ridiculously reverent with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


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3 thoughts on “Separation, sacrifice, and other light late-night musings.

  1. Mahalaya 20 May 2012 at 09:38 Reply

    The reluctant seed comes to visit you today. :P

    Often times i see so much of who we are is based upon our angle of this drama. Some so myopic and others so hyperopic that we either miss the big picture or step on the lil guy at our feet.:P The red balloon is argued over…one says it’s a big red floating thing while someone else is saying it is just atoms.

    Meanwhile, this fool is making them into animal shapes for her children.:P

    The perspective taught within the vedas itself posesses a dual meaning dwelling within each line. So they the myopic read it and thinks it proves everything…and the hyperopic will also read it and think it proves everything.

    Such a mastery of writing.

    The Beloved Devas, in their infinite wisdom can see both. Making the choice to remain behind to serve. What an amazing thing to see them remain, proving a choice must exists…even with the Truth known. They remain. I thank Beloved each day for their Light!

    ….and for yours Beloved<3

    • Kāmya 20 May 2012 at 22:31 Reply

      I always appreciate visits!

      Veda’s meaning, then, is not only dual, but triple; any spiritual concept naturally gives rise to something greater by going one increment higher, producing the one-greater-than, which summarises, transcends, or increases the original.

      And Veda’s meaning is also infinite. Proving everything. Disproving everything. :)

      Your final paragraph is beautiful; I thank you for all of your lovely comments but especially for that!


  2. Rich 26 May 2012 at 19:44 Reply

    Hari Om,

    Namaste and hello Kamya and Mahalaya,

    This one likes late night tired musings.

    This is subjective, but think Shri HanumanJi is example of “both goals” if you will.

    Is it not possible to be bridge and cross it? Not in any order or hierachy. Not this one at this time of course, but as yearning of this one, as supported by experience and scriptures, can not both be same? Can not one exist in the matierial as it is, but exist in spiritual domain? Maybe bridge experiences bliss of merging as well, while serving as bridge, serving the Lord, serving all. Maybe it is we, who limit the Divine with our interpretations and leaning on some traditions, in spite of what we are told internally, as you have shared.

    Thanks for rocking photo.

    Those are my early evening musings. Thanks for the offering Kamya.

    Om Shanti


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